So Far….

So far it has been less than idyllic.

So far it has been just plain difficult.

So far Zander hasn’t been sleeping well at night and we are exhausted.  We are, however, holding it together well and Paul and I have only argued once.

So far we are working on making more milk so Zander can be healthy and strong.  We need him to poo/pee more and start gaining weight.

So far reality isn’t nearly as beautiful as ‘the plan’.

So far we have been watching for signs of PPD since so many things have not gone according to plan.  It is so frustrating to me that we are back at this place.

So far we have been stressed because the people who can take Zan away seem to be always watching.

So far we are shaking off the negative comments and ignoring the thoughtless remarks.

So far we are loving this little boy fiercely no matter what happens.

So far we are letting go instead of worrying.

So far we are trusting God for what we do not know. And clinging to what we know to be truth.  Truth is that God is in control and that he has a perfect plan.  THAT is something I can rest in.

Rest.   Mmm, that sounds good.